Dreamed of demonstrating my telekinetic abilities for a friend by levitating my laptop. As it floated past her, she reflexively reached out for it, as if to save it from dropping. This gesture communicated a sense of doubt to my pre-conscious mind and, spell broken, the laptop crashed down and broke into pieces.
Fortunately, we were right by an Apple store, so I took it inside to be repaired. The technician asked me what I used it for. I said, I don’t see how that matters, but I use it for music, writing, design work, everything.

“Oh,” he said, “you’re a designer. You might enjoy taking a look at my pictures.” He walked back over to his workstation to open them. “Nothing personal,” I said, “but right now I don’t care at all about your pictures.” This didn’t deter him from digging them out to show me.

Meanwhile, I’m sorting through the shattered bits of my machine, to see what’s broken and what might not be, growing increasingly exasperated at the damage, and the idea of how much it was going to cost to fix a laptop I hadn’t even finished paying for. Finally, I yell out, “Look, imagine JESUS CHRIST came in and needed his laptop fixed!”

Alex Jones was suddenly there, manning an INFOWARS booth. He says, “So you’re Jesus Christ?”

“No,” I reply, “I just mean I’m doing important work.” Dubious, Alex goes over to a kiosk to check my search ranking. “Anyone,” I say, “who thinks search ranking demonstrates real importance is an idiot.”
Sure enough, his search yields zero results.